


Labels

by Janamelie



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 14:16:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3450191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janamelie/pseuds/Janamelie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rimmer starts questioning his sexual identity.  Basically fluff with just a little angst.  Series X era, before and directly after "The Beginning".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Labels

"Lister, do you think I'm gay?"

Lister grinned lazily.  "Nah, 'course not.  You just tripped and fell on me cock.  Mouth first."

Hazel eyes reproached him from the vicinity of his crotch.  "I'm serious, you ungrateful goit."

"Sorry man, but that's a weird question to lob at the bloke you've just sucked off."

He ran a conciliatory hand through Rimmer's curls and gently urged him up to lie alongside him.  The last thing he felt like doing right now was dealing with the hologram's neuroses.  His hand on Rimmer's second erection proved an effective distraction.

 

 

 

He stirred into wakefulness and realised that long limbs were no longer entwined with his.  He staggered out of bed to the nearest vending machine, yawning so hard that his ears popped.

"Coffee, black, six sugars please."

"Of course, Daveed," replied the dispenser in a purring French accent.

"Ta, love.  Have you seen Rimmer?"

"Oui.  He ordered a cup of minestrone soup and said he had studying to do."

 

 

 

It took longer than expected to locate Rimmer in the library.  He wasn't in the Astronavigation section as anticipated.  After trekking up and down dizzyingly tall aisles, Lister finally found him.

"I don't know what to call myself," Rimmer greeted him.

Lister couldn't help the smirk that curved his mouth.  "I'm sure Cat'd have a few suggestions."

"I mean my sexuality.  Gimboid."

 _Ah._ He patted the blue-clad shoulder by way of apology.  "Bothers ya, does it?"

"You don't know what it was like growing up.  Being a queer - it was the worst thing you could be."

"Rimmer, they're all dead.  I know they were your family and all that smeg, but you want my opinion?  You're well out of it."

A sigh was the only response.

"Wouldn't say you were gay, exactly.  Bi, I s'pose."

"Father would say it makes no difference.  If you sleep with men, you're a sissy."

 _Smeg the old bigot.  Why do you care?_    The troubled look in his lover's eyes kept his retort silent.  He recalled his automatic assumption that "studying" meant yet another futile attempt on Rimmer's part to please his long-dead family.  Because it always did.

He leant down and placed a quick kiss on the furrowed brow.  A momentary pause, then Rimmer's fingers curled around the back of his neck and pulled him in for a longer one.

"Wanna come back to bed?"

At Rimmer's headshake, he sank down onto the hologram's lap, wrapping an arm around him.  Rimmer huffed, but twisted around until they could both see the weighty tome on the desk in front of him.

Lister jabbed a finger at one of the headings.  "What about pansexual?"

"Are you joking?  That sounds like I have some bizarre kitchen utensil fetish."

Lister snorted.  "Hey, don't go giving me ideas, man."

He felt laughter shake Rimmer.  "Forget it.  You're too distracting."

"I aim to please."

 

 

**A FEW WEEKS LATER**

 

 

Not even Hogey's reappearance could dampen their euphoria for long.  The rogue droid was eventually placated by the gift of a spaghetti western vid after several hours of music, drinking and general merriment.  They finally waved him off, the gun that had saved their bacon back in his possession, at around midnight ship time.

"Listy."  Rimmer was slurring slightly.  He hadn't had that much, but was clearly what Lister would describe as "nicely drunk".

"Yeah?"  His reply was slightly breathless as he pulled out the lower bunk and assembled the sofa bed.

"I don't care what that bastard thinks any more."

"Good for you!"  He guided Rimmer down onto the bed.  "Pyjamas."

Bewilderment flashed briefly in the hologram's eyes, then he adjusted his wristband until his uniform was replaced by midnight blue pyjamas.

"I've decided what I'm going to call myself."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Listersexual."

Lister spluttered.  "Can we keep that one between us, man?"

Rimmer didn't answer.  He began to snore gently.

Lister chuckled and brushed a stray curl from Rimmer's forehead.  Crossing to the sink, he brushed his teeth in double quick time, then stripped to his longjohns and got into bed beside Rimmer, arranging the blanket over them.

He had a feeling Rimmer wouldn't be quite so relaxed about this tomorrow, but that could wait.

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't intended as a serious examination of sexual identity labels. I just couldn't get the opening scene out of my head and the story which developed around it turned into "Series X married couple" fluff.
> 
> I couldn't resist the pansexual joke - no offence. ;)


End file.
